What I wish I would have known about Grief

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I hate to break this to you but grief isn't going anywhere. It will remain with you for the rest of your life. It will become a part of who you are down to your very core. This is why learning to cope and walk with grief daily is so important. It isn't going anywhere but I promise you can learn to cope and grow in your grief.

You will not only feel like the world is ending and when it doesn't end you will secretly wish it did. I promise you a  new "normal" will slowly emerge. Give yourself grace and time to process and develop during the early stages of your grief journey especially.

Grief at the beginning feel like you are living in fog. You can't see anything except the grief in front of you. Your brain will not function like it used to before the loss. You will live in a haze for a time, but eventually  the fog will lift and you will begin to think clearer. Just give it time.

At the beginning it seems like every day is a bad day. Your grief might try to trick you into thinking this will be your life from now on, but I promise that it isn't. One day you have a good day, and then a good week and you will feel like the weight of the world is slowly lifting off your shoulders.

You will be okay one moment and not okay the next. You'll feel fine one day and be destroyed the next. Okay one month, but not okay the next. It is important to go with the flow of your grief and honor what your heart and mind are feeling.

If you are anything like me, then you hate to cry, but it is a very important part of the process! DO IT OFTEN and never hold it back. 

Write about them, go back through all your memories with them and truly soak in all the good times you had with them. I promise it will help.

Don't hide from grief or try to keep yourself busy, busy, busy so you don't think about it. If you do not take the time to process and heal, your grief will grow and fester and eventually consume you.

Trying to numb your pain will only mean more pain in the long run. If you are seeking unhealthy ways to cope with your grief, please seek professional help. 

It's okay you need people. Grief will trick into believing that no one wants to deal with your grief. The truth is that many people just don't know how to help a griever. Be patient and express to others exactly how they can help you and watch you and others be blessed by being able to help. 

You will ask "Why?" more times than you thought possible and still may never get an answer. Instead try asking "How? How can I live my life to fully honor my loved one? How can I use this experience to learn to love better, embrace others, change and grow?" 

God will let you scream, cry and question all you need to. You can throw whatever you want onto Him, knowing He can take whatever you dish out. He made emotions and understands that they need to be fully released and felt in order to process.